Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Psychic Numbing?

Again I wake in the middle of the night, unable to sleep and readjusting to being in a totally different time zone and culture (Egyptian) than my everyday habit of living in California.  As I turn on the tv to find out the latest on what is happening in Tahrir square, I notice how images of violence strikes a cord of sadness in me.  How human beings can treat each other in such manner, especially those who live in the same land and have a common heritage, those who call each other brother and sister, is disheartening. 

Will there be a time where we can live in peace with each other as a global human species inhabiting one land, one earth? Or are we doomed as a human species to continually re-enact these horrors that we see on our tv screens?  These are just a few questions I ask myself as I look around my everyday world.

Psychic numbing is a state in which one does not feel the pain due to the mechanisms of repression and supression.  The information coming in to the human mind-body-soul system is overwhelming. It is like one shuts down and cannot effectively function.  Some symptoms are depression, anxiety, inability to sleep soundly.  I see this not only in my own life, but the life of my friends, family in Egypt as well as in America.

I believe I am beginning to experience more of the pain and suffering in the world more consciously. As I have been going in and out of tears and grief at the scenes I see and experience around me. I find many people do not want to hear this side of life; however, I think the first step in finding a way out of this sorrow is to acknowledge it- not to hide from it-to face it and see what is waiting to be revealed.

An article I was reading for a class seems to be sychronistically appropriate for what I am going through at this time; it is called Global Healing in a Brokenhearted World by Miriam Greenspan.  One of the quotes that caught my attention is : "Repeated genocides, governmental irresponsibility for environmental abuse, chronic and escalating violence all over the globe, disastrous corporate gobalization, all these and more are terribly disheartening.....All signs point to the prospect of a lot more global pain before we change our ways" (p.251).  The author believes that in order for indvidual healing and global healing to occur we must open ourselves to the suffering around us since we are interconnected on many levels. She talks that by feeling these "darker" emotions, we eventually gain greater vitality and see possibilities of seeing the world another way and possibilities of changing our ways for the better.

After reading her article, I feel it offered me an acceptance of the way I feel as well as others and it is not necessarily psychologically inappropriate; in fact it is psychologically heathy and can lead to a greater degree of transformation.  I have to be on constant guard for this ability to psychically numb our experiences and yet I can compassionately hold the importance and the self protective ability of our psyches to protect us from pain.  But how much longer can I, can we blind ourselves from the present day events of our world?

Blessings-Gigi

Monday, December 19, 2011

First Entry in Egypt

As I wake up this morning in Cairo while visiting my family, I think to myself there is so many thoughts that come and a desire to share them sometimes or just express them in some form.  I know that I do not want this to be an intellectual pursuit-we get that in our world overloaded in many forms.  It is okay if things do not make rational sense at times or there is contradictions-it is my process and a journey.  Hopefully through this, I may find greater meaning, peace and belonging to this world and my part in it.  Blessings-Gigi